What is the Muggle Contraption?
by Ky'atia Archive
Summary: Harry, Draco, Hermione, and Ron get drunk one night and go to a Muggle arcade. It is meant to be funny, not serious


"What is this Muggle Contraption?!"

A story idea from Spellcastre, written by ME!

Disclaimer: Diet Dr. Pepper really DOES taste more like regular Dr. Pepper!

Warnings: It has some slash, but it is done in a funny manner. Well… this features all of the characters VERY OOC!!! And it is almost all speaking; very little description. It is a minimalist thing… or maybe I am just lazy. One of the two.

A/N: I am feeling rather childish today, if you would like to know! LOL! Mwahaha! _(I wrote this story about two years ago, forgot about it, then found it today. It is stupid and silly, but I thought, what the hell? I may as well post it, right?)_

"So Love, what do you want to do tonight?" Draco asked.

"Let's go to a bar and get SMASHED!" Hermione exclaimed, downing her third firewhiskey of the night.

"YOU are not my love, Muggle. AND the term is 'hammered,' I believe."

"Draco calm down."

"Sorry, Love!"

"Hermione has a point… it might be fun!!" Ron said.

"You aren't my love either, Weasley!" he said angrily.

"Calm DOWN!"

"Sorry again, Love!"

"I think we should go to a Muggle arcade…" Harry said finally.

"Anything for you, Love!! …What is an arcade?"

They all, having too much to drink already, laughed outrageously at this… until they saw that he was serious.

"Umm… you're weird…" Hermione slurred.

"Shut UP, Muggle! I'm not the one who doesn't even know the proper term for being drunk off my ass, much like you are now."

"Hey, you wanna take this outside, Draco?" Ron asked, honestly not too sure what the term meant anyway, having dropped out of Muggle Studies in his first semester, but too drunk to really care anyway.

"First of all, we are NOT on a first name basis, Weasel-face! …Now, anyway, love, what is an arcade?"

"It is a place with lots of games and—"

"Sex games?!" said Ron, his ears perking up quite nicely, considering his state.

"Don't interrupt my love!"

"…Not quite, Ron. Video games and stuff… OH! We could play DDR!"

"What is that game?" Hermione asked, finally putting down her Mai Tai.

"You are so stupid, Muggle! It is a Muggle game and you don't know of it?! Idiots…"

"Fine, Draco, you tell us what it is about," Ron said.

"Go AWAY! I don't remember inviting you to speak! And besides, I am not a Muggle, so why should I know?"

"DDR is a dance game!" Harry yelled over Ron who had begun talking again about how he was going to take things outside, whatever that meant.

"Well, I'm sure I'll be excellent at it! I am a Malfoy after all…" he said seriously.

Ron and Hermione didn't even bother attempting to hide their hysteria at that comment.

"WHAT?! You DARE to laugh at the name of Malfoy?!" Draco exclaimed, having a few too many drinks himself.

"Draco?"

"Yes, Love?"

"Shut up."

"Okay!"

Ordinarily Ron and Hermione would have started chortling again, but they were… umm… slightly occupied at the moment.

"EEWWWW! The Muggle and the Weasel are making out! Make them stop, Love! My delicate eyes can't take that horrible sight!" Draco shouted out in repulsion.

"You didn't seem to mind too much when we were last night," Harry said.

"Shut up, Love!"

"You realize you contradicted yourself in that line, right, Drakie?" Hermione said, definitely intoxicated. "RON! Give my back my MAI TAI!!!!"

"No! MINE!"

"MINE!"

"SHUT UP!" Harry and Draco said in unison.

Later that night at the Arcade

"What IS this Muggle contraption?!" Draco asked, bewildered at the sight before him.

"It is a DDR machine, Draco."

"Yeah, can't you read? It says DDR right there!" Hermione said.

"It looks like FUN! And you shut up, Muggle! I can read, several languages in fact. AND unlike you, I can see that it says Dance Dance Revolution. NOT DDR!!! HA! I WIN!"

"Uhh… Draco, that is what it stands for," Ron said.

"As I have already pointed out, WEASLEY, we are NOT on a first name basis."

"ANYWAY!" Harry said, pulling the two away from yet another argument, "I think we should play…"

"I challenge you!" Draco said.

Harry smirked and said, "You're on."

Draco got out a galleon and tried to force it into the machine, but it wouldn't fit! "You DARE to not serve a Malfoy, muggle contraption?!" Draco roared, getting seriously offended at the machine.

Harry started laughing. "Draco, it is a game! It only takes quarters!" He got out three quarters and popped them into the machine.

"Let's GO!" The machine said.

"I will do what I want, contraption. Do not DARE to tell a Malfoy what to do!"

Harry sighed and told Draco to get onto the step pad. Harry picked Heavy mode, and of course Draco wanted to follow suit.

"I am a Malfoy. I can do whatever I want!"

"Draco, you are going to fall flat on your ass if you try to do Heavy mode on your first try!" Ron said to him.

"I do NOT need your advice, Weasley; now, hand me my firewhisky!"

"Draco, I don't think you need to be drinking while doing DDR!" Harry said.

"Love, I am quite sure I can--" Draco began saying as he tripped over the machine.

The whole group started laughing as they watched the 'mighty Malfoy' pick himself up off of the floor.

"I meant to do that. And I CAN do Heavy mode!!!"

"Fine, Draco; suit yourself!" Harry said, fully prepared to enjoy this. He scrolled through the songs and decided to go with "Butterfly" in hopes that it would be easy enough for Draco to follow along.

"What the hell is this? I fucking hate butterflies. LET ME PICK!" Draco exclaimed, and began scrolling through the songs. He heard the song "Bag" and thought it sounded okay.

"Umm… Draco, I don't think you want to do that…"

"Yes I do, Love. I am a Malfoy and I am good at everything." So, he hit the button. Draco was stuck doing "Bag" on heavy. Harry immediately began laughing at Draco's expression as he watched the arrows come up the screen.

"What the hell is this??"

Harry, following along perfectly, just laughed. "Well, love, it is what you wanted!"

Draco began stumbling around trying in vain to catch some of the arrows. Unfortunately for him, he had one too many drinks to do this correctly, so he just ended up falling flat on his face. The whole group cracked up at the sight of the poor Malfoy lying on the floor.

After the song was over, Harry went over to Draco. "Not what you expected?"

"That… 'game' is a torture device. Who in their right mind would like that?!"

"I told you…" Harry said in a sing-song voice.

"Ah, shut it, love…"

Harry just grinned and asked who wanted to challenge him next, but it seemed that Ron and Hermione were… occupied at the moment

"Not again!" Draco groaned.

"Well, maybe we should go back now. It is really late…"

"Fine. But we are leaving them here."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because. I am a Malfoy and my word is law!"

Harry just laughed and walked out to the car, hoping that they could do something fun like this again.

AN: Okay, I know it was stupid! It was supposed to be! Flames as well as compliments are appreciated! Don't bother with constructive criticism. This story was NOT supposed to be good in any way.


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